Aggressors and the aggressed

The bus journey to Split could have been so dull and boring if it was not for Sarđan. If you're wondering, he's the third Croat of the night that showed unreserved friendliness to us foreigners. Nubli again was immediately captured by his dreams as soon as he found a sit in the bus- he did not seem to be as excited as I was. To be so close to entering Bosna; indeed I couldn't conceal my happiness and excitement.

Nevertheless, still unsure of these Croats, we decided to keep our real destination secret. When we were asked by Sarđan and some other friendly croats, we made it sound like Split was our end destination- not Bosna. It was my idea- maybe I was a bit Croatophobic, but again the images of the Balkan war kept coming back to me, as if trying to remind me that these people are not my real friends, however kind they might seem to me. Furthermore I know some facebook friends who lost their fathers in the arms struggle; I imagined if it was to happen to me- it will be an unbearable test from Allah. I can't even bear the thought of any member of my family to have a broken finger, let alone facing death. These Muslims in Bosna have suffered much. They have tasted death and injustices, and they survived with the memory. They have learnt many things, and I believed that these have taught them a unique meaning of life. A meaning different from what the Muslims living in a peaceful Malaysia could comprehend.

Talking to Sarđan, a young shipworker who has traveled far, I braved myself to open the so-far untouched topic; i.e. the war. Sarđan was surprised that I know much about it, especially when Tuđman's name was mentioned. I tried to keep my smile as broad when talking about this murderer, although deep inside me I was burning with hatred. Next was the question of the night: "tell me about your feelings towards Bosniak now". To my astonishment, Sarđan totally see them as friends, and he told me that what has passed, has passed. "We have to live on, and the past should never dictate our future", he maintained. He further surprised me when he expressed that the Croats feel closer to the Muslims than to the Serbs. I liked and respected his view, but sensed something not perfectly right about it.

It is understandably easy for the aggressors to forget their aggressions towards others, but it is next to impossible for the aggressed to forget about it. These people received the heavy blow, and continue to live with the scar. The Croats assailed and harassed the Bosniaks, but when the war ended they wouldn't have suffered as much as the Bosniaks. The same principle applies when the Serbs attacked Croatia; this time the Croats as the transgressed retain the hatred towards their aggressors, the Serbs. This could be exactly why, as elucidated by Sarđan, the Croats feel closer to the Bosniaks than to the Serbs. Sarđan's words are less convincing when I found out that he was from Split, an area untouched by the calamitous war. He's simply not talking from experience. Nevertheless, it was good exposure to have talked to him. At least I now know that people of his kind exist.