Our estimation of the distance we covered can often be inaccurate; especially when our limbs have weakened, stomach rumbling, and the hopes and excitements for finding the 'legendary' Katedrala was slowly diminishing. At such a time, after (what we felt like) a long hour of walking, we stopped at, and were stopped by, a big shopping complex under the name Bosna Bank International (BBI). Being in the middle of the city's concentration, it easily stood out from the rest of its neighbours and surroundings. A concourse is spread and extended almost unrestrictedly before its entrance, inviting a massive crowd of shoppers to gather, break, and enjoy the fresh air before or after their needs are fulfilled.
We, the lost travelers, were among its benefitors. We might have refreshed our spiritual states at Alipašina džamija- which was something we appreciated and needed very much- but as Muslims we remain practical. Prayers won't change our dear future without effort, it won't bring about a map of Sarajevo in a piece of paper to us, it won't cause the sky to rain golds and diamonds, neither will it build a roof on top of us for shelter. At that time we needed to relieve ourselves, to answer the call of nature in an appropriate setting, if not luxurious. We needed some digression, and BBI shopping complex was the right place for that purpose.
Inside the building, there were throngs of people walking in an almost random, unregulated manner. As in other shopping complexes the noise was maximal, everyone was speaking at the top of his voice. I was looking, glancing and turning my head round to look for Bosnian women in hijab, but unfortunately it was a rarity. There were only two or three of them that I managed to get a glimpse on, and that was for the whole hour or so I spent in the complex. Often I was told and reminded over and over again by proud Bosnians in Mostar that in this city, Muslims account for more than 90% (many even said 99%) of the population. "So where is Islam? Is this as much as it can give me?" I tried to reason this, doing brain-storming to find for reasons or at least excuses.
In reality, it was almost Isha' time- about 9 o' clock in the night- and it was not fair for me to expect to see many Muslim women in hijab around this time, especially in such places. My family and I ourselves would only very very occassionally do so, when there is real need. Otherwise, we prefer to spend our time at home together as a happy family; reading hadith, discussing Qur'an, watching the news or family movies over dinner. We see it as a time of rest, after a long day of school and work. It is a time of togetherness, of love and understanding, and of smiles and laughters- a time I appreciate most in the many times I spent at home. It is a time of pure happiness for the whole family, a time much needed by every one of us without exception. Thank you Babah and Umi, for I wouldn't have grown up to be this same Safwan if we hadn't spent much time of this like.
Now I understood better on how biased can obersvations be, even if the observer tries very hard to be honest, critical and contemplative. I came here as a tourist, but that wasn't the whole picture. I couldn't help but bring with me the expectations I have on Bosna- in the way I hoped to see it as. In fact, these were very skewed, gathered only by limited exposure to this country's unlimited reserve of culture. It will be worse if I was not willing to learn from my own weaknesses, and continue to think that I'm making an infallible, unbiased judgement of a culture I hardly even know.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Another reason why I enjoy reading your posts are – that you even psychoanalise your own thoughts! It’s like there’s a Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde inside of you somewhere! :)
ReplyDeleteMay I offer my own observation on your point “where is Islam” bit?
I often have to correct myself of the same thing. It is easy to judge based on your observations, that because the mosques seem empty or because not many women wearing hijab can be seen, or many women dress skimpily – isn’t it?
I myself often have to redirect my thoughts – and think again. The situation is different in Bosnia than it is in Malaysia.
In Bosnia, those who are “practicing Muslims” will practice it in the truest sense. So, when the women wear their hijab, they will wear it with proper dress, long sleeves, not form fitting, etc. There are many mosques in Bosnia. So much so, it is all within walking distance from one’s home! It seemed to me, that there were more mosques per sq ft in Bosnia than in Malaysia! When I was there, I could choose between 2 or 3 mosques all within walking distance. So, perhaps the Bosnians in the mosques are more spread out in the many many mosques? Also, Islam also was suppressed for many years in Bosnia. It makes it easier to forget Islam – and the ‘insan’ is already a creature ‘who forgets’. And what more it is a Muslim nation right smack in the heart of Europe! Some will be more influenced by their European counterparts. Even as I say this there is more of an ‘awakening’ these days in Bosnia. More and more Bosnians are turning to Islam, studying Islam, practicing Islam. There is even a Bosnian Islamic radio station!
We take it for granted that what we see (hijab, mosques) is a sign of the level of Islam being practiced – because in Malaysia that is the case. Although I feel, Malaysia’s practicing Muslims outnumber the non-practicing ones, the ones who practice, some of them, do not always understand what they are practicing. They practice because it is their culture.. taught to them since young. Why is it, some wearing hijab – wear it with ill fitting clothes? Why do they wear hijab to work and take it off during weekends? Why is it Muslims are caught by religious police doing various activities? In fact – some Muslims ‘practice’ for fear of reprimand, fear of getting caught. And here we are a proud Muslim nation, with many Islamic institutions in place, Islamic laws in place – and far away (geographically, at least) from Western influences.
So – things like hijab (and other external observations) should not be a measure of one’s Islamicness. I know hijab wearing people who backbite, cheat, fitnah – u name it! They behave worse than some who do not don the hijab.
Although, I look out for the same qualities sometimes (I can’t help it!), I try to remind myself of the opposite.
I felt like an alien sometimes in Bosnia, as I was brown skinned and with hijab. I was looking around for my ‘sisters in Islam’ i.e. those with hijab, as I identified with them (not sure how to explain this better). But eventhough they were few and far in between, it was also those non-hijab even men who greeted me with Salam!
Ok – there goes – my 2 cents (or 1 ringgit!!) worth!
My humble views :)
Oh, the above comment was from me again : - Ilham
ReplyDeleteAkak Ilham, this is as good as a post/ an entry itself!
ReplyDeleteI'm contemplating about writing again, thanks for your enormous support :))
Salam again :) yes, of course i support your writings - i share your love for Bosnia! I think it's unfair if you deprive others of your writings of your experience! - chewah :)
ReplyDeleteps: sorry abt the very long comment. I'm just very passionate abt the subject ;)
-ilham